Being a good public speaker is not about being more confident.

Confidence is a feeling, a feeling of self-assuredness; the feeling that you will and can succeed. And, this feeling is a state of being that can pass as soon as you stumble on a word or phrase ... The best public speakers, the ones who don't show us all their work, the ones that make us think they are talking directly to us, the ones who make us feel comfortable ... don't think about needing to be confident. They are thinking about you, about creating a connection, sharing a message, building a relationship.

When we get nervous speaking to groups, we are often putting more of our attention on ourselves, our tension; we loop and weave; pull in vocally; and pull back, in a variety of ways, physically.

Next time this happens to you, if it happens to you, lean in towards the front of your feet; feel the floor, relax your shoulders, relax your hands, lengthen the back of your neck, bring your chin down slightly, take a breath and talk to us.